Response to "A Flicker in the Night"

This short short is about a girl who loves and is accustomed to the nightly routine of her mother coming to check on her and turn her tv on. She is comforted by her mothers presence and the smell of her perfume. I really enjoyed reading this short because it reminded me of how my mother was when I was little-exactly like this. My mom always checked on me before bed and I'd always pretend I was asleep when she came in. I loved how you captured the sincerity in the mother and the child, not to mention the love between the two. The little girl seems to really live for bedtime just for this to occur, as if maybe she doesn't see her mother during the day. I liked how you ended the story as well. The girl isn't awake when her mother comes in and because of this she can't sleep. I thought that a child who was used to this would react in this way. I found this short to be really believable and really enjoyed it overall-it brought back wonderful memories.

Response to "Jenson's Day"

 This short short story is about a guy named Jenson who's life is anything but exciting. Based on the conversations he has with the other character's, we get a sense that he's a pretty straight-forward guy. 

     I really like his character and found myself laughing at many of the descriptions of some of the characters. His description of the girl in his bed is priceless, because it seems like he isn't really interested in her but at the end of the story we learn he comes back home to her. It was kind of cute really.  I also loved the dialogue in this story because it flowed nicely. I also liked the TV element as well.

Response to "From Me For You"

   This story is about Isaiah, a boy who is mourning along with his cousin over the death of her husband, Albert on Thanksgiving Day.

     I really liked the family element presented in the piece and the Spanish influence toward everything. You can really get a sense of how close the family is, even when Albert joins the family he's welcomed with open arms. I also liked how you played up the sour smell of tripe with the sadness of the days events which creates a great atmosphere of how the mood changed within an instant. The details you describe are believable and effective throughout the story without being overbearing. I liked how Debbie was described as the "cool cousin" because she could dance so well. I also liked how you focused on the cake and her dress during their wedding. Those were little clues that gave us hints about her character that we were able to see instead of being told every little detail. 

     My only suggestion/question about the story is whether or not Isaiah changed during the story or not because it seems that Debbie went through more of a change than anyone. Was his change that he normally doesn't cry, so for him to uncontrollably do it make him not himself? Debbie just seemed like more of the main character in this story. Other than that, I really liked reading this one.

Response to "Blood"

   MOLLY-AKA KATNISS,

      This story is pretty awesome dude, and I love the title. First off this story centers around a girl named Scarlett, who's in a mental hospital because she cut herself after her Dad's death. It basically chronicles her time there while also giving us flashbacks to her childhood, with great memories of her Dad and decent memories of her mother. We get an inside look of how the hospital works and the types of patients that reside there.
     I really liked the voice of this character. Her sarcasm and wit is funny and believable. She describes the people, the place, the things she sees, hears, everything in my opinion realistically. I mean I felt like I was reading an article of watching a documentary about a patient in a mental hospital who wasn't totally crazy, and they were letting us get a "glimpse" into their world; like the cribs version of the mental hospital you feel me? Dope. I loved how you made Scarlett a daddy's girl, and maybe I'm biased because I'm a daddy's girl as well, but I just thought it worked within the story. Not to mention the fact that her mom is a clean and neat freak, which makes her all the more annoying. Also I loved the scene about how art days work around the clinic and how the pieces that don't have names on them, get randomly distributed, which misleads the parents about the progress of their children. In general, I don't think I have any suggestions for this story. It was great. Great job buddy!

Response to "Swiss Cheese"

   Ok, first off this story is about a girl named Brett who works at a hospital and meets a death row inmate named Jack, who is desperately trying to commit suicide to "cheat the system" and die an easier way. Brett is reluctant to talk to Jack at first but then slowly as she listens to him use his psychology on her so-to-speak, the more interested she becomes. I think personally think she finds him intriguing by the end of the piece. 

    I really like this piece as a whole and I like how descriptive some of the scenes are, for instance the beginning scene. However, sometimes I wondered if I was distracted by some of it, like maybe some of the details weren't really needed. I do like Brett's voice throughout the piece, especially considering we learn of her mother's murder, so it would seem that she would be this easily agitated character. She acts as if something is always on her mind, and as the reader we know what that is, and I thought it was really cool how you were able to capture that. I did want to learn more about her mother's murder I think. I guess I wanted to know more about that day and how she happened to find her mother in that way, ya know, was she attending school in her home town and lived at home, or was she just visiting? Did they ever catch who committed the murder? I kind of wanted to know more about her struggles with that and her father's death as well, because it isn't just her mother's death that seems to trouble her. Does she blame herself for both? 

      I love how you show Jacks weird personality by having him been a psychology major, so he can really read people, having him almost become Brett's therapist in a way if you think about it. Two people who both are very familiar with murder both become each others support. In the end she helps him with his suicide, but what is it that he helps her overcome? What is Brett's actual change? I'd like to see her come to a realization, I think from something he says. I think you attempted that when she keeps remembering him saying "Would it make you feel better to know that I was abused as a child?...I was mutilated too." I'd like to see this change her I guess a bit more. She constantly thinks about it after he says it, but what about it really changed her? Other than that, I really liked this story.

Response to "Ruth and Isaac

   This story centers around the thoughts a mother has about her daughter getting married. She's reluctant towards this idea because according to her the two kids didn't do it the right way-meaning they didn't wait until they finished college and had jobs. 

      The mother or narrator gives us flashbacks about how she misses when her daughter Ruth was a little girl and how innocent and adorable she was. I liked that about this story. I liked how we could see the mothers reluctance within the different flashbacks, even though we learn she doesn't care for the wedding, the flashback scenes are very telling in my opinion. I like the mother's rationality about everything. She reminds me a bit of mine in that aspect. But I think I wanted to see more of the father's reaction to Ruth and Isaac's marriage. I think I wanted some dialogue between him and his wife about the marriage and maybe he sides with Ruth while she is just completely against the whole idea. I think an argument between them would be interesting and fun. Other than that, I thought this story was good.