Response to "A Flicker in the Night"

This short short is about a girl who loves and is accustomed to the nightly routine of her mother coming to check on her and turn her tv on. She is comforted by her mothers presence and the smell of her perfume. I really enjoyed reading this short because it reminded me of how my mother was when I was little-exactly like this. My mom always checked on me before bed and I'd always pretend I was asleep when she came in. I loved how you captured the sincerity in the mother and the child, not to mention the love between the two. The little girl seems to really live for bedtime just for this to occur, as if maybe she doesn't see her mother during the day. I liked how you ended the story as well. The girl isn't awake when her mother comes in and because of this she can't sleep. I thought that a child who was used to this would react in this way. I found this short to be really believable and really enjoyed it overall-it brought back wonderful memories.

Response to "Jenson's Day"

 This short short story is about a guy named Jenson who's life is anything but exciting. Based on the conversations he has with the other character's, we get a sense that he's a pretty straight-forward guy. 

     I really like his character and found myself laughing at many of the descriptions of some of the characters. His description of the girl in his bed is priceless, because it seems like he isn't really interested in her but at the end of the story we learn he comes back home to her. It was kind of cute really.  I also loved the dialogue in this story because it flowed nicely. I also liked the TV element as well.

Response to "From Me For You"

   This story is about Isaiah, a boy who is mourning along with his cousin over the death of her husband, Albert on Thanksgiving Day.

     I really liked the family element presented in the piece and the Spanish influence toward everything. You can really get a sense of how close the family is, even when Albert joins the family he's welcomed with open arms. I also liked how you played up the sour smell of tripe with the sadness of the days events which creates a great atmosphere of how the mood changed within an instant. The details you describe are believable and effective throughout the story without being overbearing. I liked how Debbie was described as the "cool cousin" because she could dance so well. I also liked how you focused on the cake and her dress during their wedding. Those were little clues that gave us hints about her character that we were able to see instead of being told every little detail. 

     My only suggestion/question about the story is whether or not Isaiah changed during the story or not because it seems that Debbie went through more of a change than anyone. Was his change that he normally doesn't cry, so for him to uncontrollably do it make him not himself? Debbie just seemed like more of the main character in this story. Other than that, I really liked reading this one.

Response to "Blood"

   MOLLY-AKA KATNISS,

      This story is pretty awesome dude, and I love the title. First off this story centers around a girl named Scarlett, who's in a mental hospital because she cut herself after her Dad's death. It basically chronicles her time there while also giving us flashbacks to her childhood, with great memories of her Dad and decent memories of her mother. We get an inside look of how the hospital works and the types of patients that reside there.
     I really liked the voice of this character. Her sarcasm and wit is funny and believable. She describes the people, the place, the things she sees, hears, everything in my opinion realistically. I mean I felt like I was reading an article of watching a documentary about a patient in a mental hospital who wasn't totally crazy, and they were letting us get a "glimpse" into their world; like the cribs version of the mental hospital you feel me? Dope. I loved how you made Scarlett a daddy's girl, and maybe I'm biased because I'm a daddy's girl as well, but I just thought it worked within the story. Not to mention the fact that her mom is a clean and neat freak, which makes her all the more annoying. Also I loved the scene about how art days work around the clinic and how the pieces that don't have names on them, get randomly distributed, which misleads the parents about the progress of their children. In general, I don't think I have any suggestions for this story. It was great. Great job buddy!

Response to "Swiss Cheese"

   Ok, first off this story is about a girl named Brett who works at a hospital and meets a death row inmate named Jack, who is desperately trying to commit suicide to "cheat the system" and die an easier way. Brett is reluctant to talk to Jack at first but then slowly as she listens to him use his psychology on her so-to-speak, the more interested she becomes. I think personally think she finds him intriguing by the end of the piece. 

    I really like this piece as a whole and I like how descriptive some of the scenes are, for instance the beginning scene. However, sometimes I wondered if I was distracted by some of it, like maybe some of the details weren't really needed. I do like Brett's voice throughout the piece, especially considering we learn of her mother's murder, so it would seem that she would be this easily agitated character. She acts as if something is always on her mind, and as the reader we know what that is, and I thought it was really cool how you were able to capture that. I did want to learn more about her mother's murder I think. I guess I wanted to know more about that day and how she happened to find her mother in that way, ya know, was she attending school in her home town and lived at home, or was she just visiting? Did they ever catch who committed the murder? I kind of wanted to know more about her struggles with that and her father's death as well, because it isn't just her mother's death that seems to trouble her. Does she blame herself for both? 

      I love how you show Jacks weird personality by having him been a psychology major, so he can really read people, having him almost become Brett's therapist in a way if you think about it. Two people who both are very familiar with murder both become each others support. In the end she helps him with his suicide, but what is it that he helps her overcome? What is Brett's actual change? I'd like to see her come to a realization, I think from something he says. I think you attempted that when she keeps remembering him saying "Would it make you feel better to know that I was abused as a child?...I was mutilated too." I'd like to see this change her I guess a bit more. She constantly thinks about it after he says it, but what about it really changed her? Other than that, I really liked this story.

Response to "Ruth and Isaac

   This story centers around the thoughts a mother has about her daughter getting married. She's reluctant towards this idea because according to her the two kids didn't do it the right way-meaning they didn't wait until they finished college and had jobs. 

      The mother or narrator gives us flashbacks about how she misses when her daughter Ruth was a little girl and how innocent and adorable she was. I liked that about this story. I liked how we could see the mothers reluctance within the different flashbacks, even though we learn she doesn't care for the wedding, the flashback scenes are very telling in my opinion. I like the mother's rationality about everything. She reminds me a bit of mine in that aspect. But I think I wanted to see more of the father's reaction to Ruth and Isaac's marriage. I think I wanted some dialogue between him and his wife about the marriage and maybe he sides with Ruth while she is just completely against the whole idea. I think an argument between them would be interesting and fun. Other than that, I thought this story was good.

Response to "Where to Start"

    Where to start tells the story of a boy who grew up very sheltered and will stop at nothing to "not become extinct." The story is told in first person as we see the narrators struggles with getting his parents to comply to allow him to do anything-his first day of middle school, he was taken right back to home school.
      I liked the voice of the narrator and thought that it felt real. He had a typical teenage view of how his parents were treating him and wanted nothing but to escape their grasp, which is for the most part, the typical teenager. I would have liked to see a little more dialogue from the parents so I could see how protective they really were, or maybe a scene in which he asks to go somewhere and they flip out over nothing. Other than that I thought this story was good and the tension was believable. I also really loved how he finds out that the car was supposed to be his in the grandfather's will but I kind of wanted to see him confront the parents about it. Although I do think that him eventually running away does work, I just wanted him and the parents to fight. However, I enjoyed reading it!

Response to "Once in a Lifetime"

This story is written in and interesting way because we get most of it in first person from the narrator with second person at times to refer to Kaushik and his family. It's pretty clear that Hema's family is more conservative and less modern than Kaushiks and I think the way Lahari chooses to write the story makes their conservatism all the more noticeable. Hema's relationship and attitude towards Kaushik is distant an in the end unresolved. We never learn what really happens between the two, even though we do learn that she finds him appealing, yet nothing is ever acted upon which is a little disappointing. By having Hema's character detached and speak of everyone the way she does gives us an emotional attachment to her and the people she has feelings with, I.e. Kaushik. I think we sympathize with her because it's almost like we're in her head as well. The tension she feels or experiences, we experience it with her. I actually liked the way this story was told. The writing strategy here was different and caught my attention

Response to Shelby's "The Bleeps and Blips of Life"

   This story is about two sisters, Anna and Karen whose father is in a coma due to cancer. The sisters constantly fight and don't care for each other very much if any at all. In the end Anna gets over her stubbornness and I'm assuming calls the doctor to take her father off of life support.

    I like the angle of this story, and how it began with the comparison to the different sounds and smells found throughout a hospital and how most people think the hospital is a quiet place when it is the complete opposite. I think that's why I really like the title of this story, I think it fits well. "Bleeps and Blips" can refer to the sound of the hospital monitors and such, and also the ups and downs of normal life, like Anna recalls from her childhood. I think the title really works. I also thought it was interesting how we get all of the inside information about how Anna really feels about Karen, however Karen will never know that. Also I liked how Anna was closer with her father than her mother, automatically making Karen and her mother the ultimate enemies. I honestly have no suggestions for this story, and I really enjoyed reading it. I thought the detail was great and the explanations were just enough. 

Response to Christina's "Password Protected"

    This story is about a girl who is browsing around on Facebook while also remembering her brother who we learn at the end dies from Leukemia. While surfing around and reading different post from the people on her newsfeed she becomes disgusted with social media and the affects it has on people. 
    I really enjoyed this story and thought the angle that you took to write it was done very well. I loved how we didn't find out that Thomas dies until the end. I also loved how your character kept him alive so to speak through his facebook page. The coping mechanism there is quite powerful and it shows how different people cope with death. She says that she's keeping him "immortal" which is something the hospital couldn't do, when in reality we know that this idea may be a bit much, never-the-less, we understand that it is the way she chooses to cope with the loss of her brother. My only suggestion for the story would be maybe some more dialogue. I think I want to hear Thomas talk a bit more and I want to know more about him besides him being in the hospital with cancer. I think I want some more interaction between him and her, when he was alive, like some moments of nostalgia. Maybe she remembers something that happened or something they talked about before he got sick that would tell us a little more about him. Other than that, great story here.

Response to Cole's "Status Quo"

   This story centers around a boy named Jake who's very analytical and pretty much over thinks most things. He likes to watch the reactions of people from his actions. I liked the repetition of the word buzz used throughout in the story and then it ending with silence. The character reminded me of several people I know, and I found him to be really interesting. His luck doesn't change with his peers until hes sentenced to ISS basically with two other boys. He finds himself making friends with them and after sharing a joint finally is able to really just take things in instead of thinking about them, not to mention he's made some actual or seemingly actual friends.
    I like the character in this story and I don't think he needs to change much, if any at all. However I would like to know a little more about him. What is his fascination with people's reactions toward him? He obviously doesn't really fit in, so was he picked on a lot, and that's why he goes about school this way? I think I want a little more background about him. I also would like to see what his new found friends really think of him. Are they just using him for the moment, or is he really going to become "one of them." Other than that, I really like the story and the buzz buzz contrast with the silence.

Response to Matt's "Series of Omissions"

     First off this story is told in the style of an obituary and the like, about a man named Norman O'Connor who has died. It gives us details about the relationships he had with members of his family such as, his wife, two sons, and daughter. We learn that for the most part he was a good father and husband, but at times did exhibit moments of rage. 

    I love the way this story was written and I love the idea of the obituary-type point of view. I would've thought to write a story from that point of view and I thought it worked really well. I thought you painted Norman's relationships with his family members well, while also showing that he wasn't a perfect husband or father. I really liked the part that showed even when he became, in other words obnoxious, his wife still remained there no matter what, even though we can tell she's possibly rethinking some things about him and personality-maybe even some things she missed when she first married him or something like that. I also loved how you captured the memories he was survived by, even though they weren't the happiest of memories, but it makes one think, even when you didn't exactly like someone, when they die you do miss them.

    The only thing that I wanted to see a bit more of, was the relationship between the brothers expanded a little more. I kind of wanted to know why they were brawling after the funeral. Were they that upset about his death, or were there clearly some internal issues never cleared up? Other than that, I thought this story was awesome and I loved the length of the story as well. I don't think it needs to be any longer. Great job Matt.

Response to David Foster Wallace's Incarnations of Burned Children

     This story is about a baby who is burned by a pot of boiling water that falls off the stove while the father is busy hanging up a door and the mother is somewhere not paying attention. Both the mother and father scramble to help the baby by putting him in the sink in attempts to cool him off, but what they fail to realize is that the whole time the baby's diaper has held the remaining hot water. They rush him to the ER where the reader is left to decide whether the child dies, or if he is reincarnated or etc. 

     This is the second time that I've read this story and every time I read it, I always wish the parents had noticed the diaper quicker instead of trying to calm the situation themselves. I always think that in that situation, wouldn't that be the first thing they'd take off considering a pot fell from up high? But nevertheless this is a very well-written story. I think having characters without specific names makes the situation more horrific and builds a serious tension, especially considering the father plays a big of the blame game with the mother. The story is told more so from his perspective which also works, and makes the reader wonder what exactly the mother was doing that she wasn't paying close enough attention. However, accidents like that happen everyday and I think that Wallace did a great job taking something as horrific as that and wrote a short story about it. He captured the fears of every parent I think while also the emotions of whom to blame in the situation. 

      This story is hard to forget and I think that's another thing that makes it work so well. The details are so gruesome and not to mention so easily possible, that it makes us rethink those times we left water on the stove, or possibly those times when we were young ourselves and how we came so close to being hurt that way. The ending is also a cliffhanger leaving us with questions of, did the boy die, did he live, does it matter? I think Wallace proved his point well with this story. In situations such as these, which are common, it's easy to play the blame game as well as feel guilt, especially if the outcome is deadly.

Response to "Baking Cookies"

    This story is about a young boy named Matt who is sexually abused by his mother. We are given the story through his innocence, as he describes play time with mommy while baking cookies. We learn that she uses baking cookies as a ploy to get him to "play" with her. 

      I absolutely loved this story, and maybe I did because it was disturbing, but nevertheless I loved it. I thought the idea of the young boy seeing playtime as a special bond between him and his mother worked well and conveyed very well. I also loved the whole confectioners vs. powdered sugar thing great as well. The mother of this child is just completely screwed up and I think you capture that with Matt's subtle details of things he repeats she says are alright. 

     I felt like you were able to take a touchy subject and write about it tastefully. The scenes weren't over done or there wasn't too much unnecessary detail. We are able to feel sympathy for Matt because for one, he's just a little boy, and then two, we understand his innocence and how his mother has manipulated him into thinking the way he does. He's young enough to be innocent, yet old enough to realize him and his mother do things differently than everyone else. He even mentions that he prefers to play with mommy because there's no chance that he could get hurt, like the other kids do on the playground. I honestly have no suggestions for this story. I loved every part of it, especially the ending when the social worker lets him know that she hasn't come to "play unsafe games" with mommy. This story worked really well, and I loved the safe vs unsafe theories he'd developed in his head because of her. All in all great job.

Response to "A Different Place"

       This story was about a family who was involved in a car accident in which the narrator learns of from his father. The narrator wasn't involved in the accident and once his family members are brought back to the states, tries to piece together what actually happened, while also mourning the loss of his friend Derick.

       I loved the dialogue in this story and I felt that it really helped explain a lot of things without having to provide an explanation of everything. It felt conversational and realistic and it moved the story forward. We really get to see more of the action through the dialogue which was nice. 

     The only suggestion I have for this story is that I wanted to see more of the narrators character develop and then change. I'm not sure if he really changed by the end of the story. I would like to know a little more about him and also why was he so close to Derick? Derick was an adult right? So was he like an "uncle" for him or just a really close family friend? Other than that I liked this story, and your use of dialogue was great.

Response to "Kids" -Alyson Smith

      "Kids" is a story told from the perspective of a shy somewhat nerdy young girl named Jenny while away at a Christian camp. The other girls seem to be fascinated with growing up too fast by shaving, wearing makeup, etc, while Jenny is more concerned with finishing her LOTR book.
     I liked your descriptions of the girls in the beginning but I got bit confused when the story began with a flood of characters and then the main focus was only about two of them. I liked the idea of this story and how this is supposed to be a Christian camp yet girls will be girls and boys will be boys. Yet we have Jenny and she seems to be the only one who actually went to learn about Jesus. 
        I think I would've liked if the narrator and her cabin mates had been older, because they appear to only be about 11 or 12. I also felt that the narrator was so sheltered that I wanted her to be home-schooled or from a small town-close-knit community type of environment, some place where she wouldn't have had a lot of social interaction. I also felt like Jenny didn't change as much as I would've liked. I love your detail and imagery, but I want to see Jenny change and come out of her shell more.

Response to "Chase"

      This story is about a girl named Caroline and her boyfriend Chase and how they've both contracted herpes. They meet at a lounge to discuss this among other things and while there, Caroline has flashbacks of their relationship. This story had me laughing from the start. The first two sentences are probably two of my favorite parts of the story. ("The only reason I‟m sitting with my ex who gave me human cytomegalovirus is because I‟m bored. Human cytomegalovirus is the most elegant way to say “I've got herpes.”) This story is just hilarious to me and I loved the way you took a normally serious subject and presented it in a humorous way without over-doing it. I feel like you took the elephant in the room so-to-speak and addressed it without offending someone. 
       I loved the way you described the different scenes as well. Another favorite of mine was when you said something along the lines of the sisters giving each other "aww eyes." I could picture that whole scene clearly in my head and I loved it. I actually "laughed out loud" I think. I also like the way you paint Chases passive attitude towards their relationship especially in the tattoo shop. When Caroline is reminiscing we get an idea of what kind of relationship they had, but there is a sense that he really did and maybe still does love her, and I think you're able to capture that with the subtleties of his personality. I loved this story overall. The only questions I had were about who broke up with who and how did Chase get herpes in the first place? Other than that I thought this story really worked well.

Response to "With Sweat Stripes Across Our Bellies"

     This story centers around a daughter/ family who watches as their mother begins to forget normal everyday things due to the fact that she has Dementia. I love the way the story was written, from the daughters point of view, and also the use of detail within her memories. The daughter seems nostalgic but at the same time just still glad that her mother is simply alive and able to do what she still can. I loved the idea of this story and I thought your use of poetic language worked well, including within the title. I loved your bits of dialogue, although I think I might would've liked to see a bit more of it. I also would like to know when the mothers Dementia started exactly considering shes now eighty-four. 
      I loved the fact that the title corresponded to the last line of the story and I think it also appears within the story. I think that image is powerful and really gives you a sense of the bond the mother and her daughter shared while gardening. It was clearly something important to them both. I also liked how you took the idea of a nurse who is accustomed to taking care of people, yet when it comes to her own mother, the territory becomes unfamiliar. I love that because I think it's something we all consider at least once in our lifetime. You mentioned the narrators children and husband, and I kind of wanted to know more about them because it seemed that the mother was now living with them? Or were they living with the mother? I would love to see some dialogue say for instance between the teenage boy and his mom discussing "grandma's condition" or what thing she forgot today or something like that. The husband could also chime in and lend to the situation as well. Over all I really enjoyed this story.

Response to "Fortune"

      I really liked how this story was written as it was happening and it covered like a 20 minute or so time frame. I like the idea of the two terrible men who break into his house so unexpectedly that the narrator is just blindsided and somewhat indifferent on top of being afraid. But then again, what do you really do in a situation such as that? I love how you described what was happening on the television along with the actual robbery like the narrator was comparing what was actually going on with that on the television(the whole "Wheel of Fortune" juxtaposing his life). I thought your use of poetic language and imagery was good as well.
       There were times I felt like maybe there were too many explanations after your descriptions. I felt like some of the metaphors explained themselves and maybe you didn't need to tell us again. I also wanted to see more of the narrator. I liked how the dog seemed to play a big role in his life but I think I wanted more of the narrator. I guess a little back-story on him would've been nice. Other than that, I really loved this story and how it was written. I wanted to keep reading and maybe learn that he made it to the door or maybe he ended up getting shot? I kind of wanted him to barely escape, you know, he reaches the door and a bullet ricochet off the door. But overall great story.   

Response to "Beyond the Line"

     This story centers around war and how its main character Isaac deals with being a soldier and not only a soldier but a major. Even thought he's a soldier we learn how easygoing Isaac is through the narrators description of him and the interactions he misses with his wife. We also learn how sympathetic he is when he refuses to go along with the third mission which would result in the death of several school children. I'm assuming the war takes place in the middle east considering the subtle setting descriptions of the terrain, desert, and etc.

     I loved the story and your use of "military jargin" throughout it but I felt like I got lost in it at times and it distracted me a bit. I thought your use of detail and imagery was great especially concerning Isaac. Your story reminded me of my brother's letters that he would write back home while he was going through basic training, so I really liked how you gave us the sort of mental aspect of being a soldier. I kind of wanted the action to begin a bit earlier though I think. The real story doesn't begin until the missions start and I think I'd like to see more conflict between maybe Isaac and Maguire. I wanted to know what war exactly they were fighting in. Overall I really enjoyed this story.

Response to "Curtis and Deangelo"

      This story starts off and we're introduced to Curtis who's at a casino in Las Vegas and not having very much luck. He plays a few games until Deangelo is introduced and I'm assuming that Curtis and Deangelo are either close friends or perhaps brothers ( I was a bit confused about their relationship). The two of them leave the casino in a taxi and we hear the story of a car accident that happened years before. Then the story moves to a scene in the hospital with Curtis's dad recovering from surgery and he receives a phone call from Deangelo revealing his father has died. It seemed that there were two stories in one. We're given bits of Curtis's life mixed in with Deangelos.
     I loved how dialogue was used to move the story along and it seemed natural. I was a bit confused at times as to whether Curtis was talking or Deangelo.  I thought the story taking place in Las Vegas was great and I really liked the idea of having the two guys both be terrible gamblers and have such attitudes toward women. I thought it made them seem like the typical men who go to Las Vegas just to get laid and get rich-I loved it. But I did find it hard to understand somethings. I had trouble telling who's father died ( I assumed it was Deangelo's father) but I felt that a tag or something could've clarified that for me. I also wanted to know more about these two guys and why exactly they were in Las Vegas. Who is Mr. Berry exactly? Are Deangelo and Curtis brothers? If not I think that maybe it'd be interesting to have them actually be brothers and allow us to figure that at the end. And lastly I'm not sure if I really understood what the story was actually about. I think both men could essentially be their own story so-to-speak. Both men are complicated enough it seems like to write about them individually. You could expand on Curtis's gambling problem (if he has one), or maybe he's upset about his father so he's more inclined to drink and gamble at this time.

Response to "Brotherly Love"

     I loved how family oriented everyone seemed to be in this story. I liked how we were presented with the idea of  two brothers living together and the "uncle" is actually the caretaker of the kids. We learn that their whole family had pretty much grown up in that one house and it seemed that everything fell apart at the start of William wanting to move because of a job offer. I thought the tension created from that worked well and even more considering we aren't dealing with a husband and wife, we're dealing with brothers.

         One of my favorite points in the story was the dialogue between William and Sam when she throws his the box of band-aids and they refer to each other as "Samuel" and "Aunt Wilma." I thought you portrayed the kids "being kids" well especially with young Jacob playing Mario Kart and not wanting to stop, even for his own birthday dinner and later gifts. I thought it added to the tention nicely. 

     I thought your use of imagery was great especially with the very first line of the story showing how William sliced his finger. It really grabbed my attention and made me want to keep reading. There were some instances however where I wanted a bit more explanation. For example, I wanted to know more about why William kept the cigarette in his pocket if he didn't smoke it. I know he mentions something about having a friend who smoked, but I wanted to know if that friend died or something like that. I also thought the burglary scene could've shown or explained more. At first I wasn't sure if it was a prank by one of the brothers ( I think perhaps I wanted it to be) or what. However since it wasn't a prank, I think I wanted it to be scarier or more life threatening than it seemed. But overall enjoyed reading this story and I loved the sarcasm thrown in throughout as well.

Response to "Dress Rehersal"

     This story centers around two sisters who go to school together and experience the typical adolescent issues. It opens with the two of them shopping for prom dresses, none of which Kate like, leaving Diana to love them all. They seems to get along great until the events of the story unfold and we learn that the play Kate has been cast in ( as only an extra) and the ever popular boy drama cause a shift in their relationship.

       I enjoyed the imagery in the story and I could imagine all of the scenes presented even on down to the way Diana peeks out of the dressing room to make sure no one else sees her in the dress. How many times have I done that? I liked how you used the play to help reveal Kate's personality toward Sean and also everyone else. She's only been cast as an extra yet she seems to feel that her role is just as important as the stars of the play. She compares the stress level of the play to that of her college application forms which I found ironic and great for her character. Her issues with identity were painted nicely especially during the dress rehearsal when she says "Hi, yes my name is Kate. I'm Diana's older sister..." I loved that. 

       In general I really enjoyed reading this story, however I think I'd like to know more about Kate and why she has these identity issues or even for instance with the play why she feels the need to be important. Diana seemed like the older sister at times to me and I wanted to understand their relationship a bit more. Is she prettier or smarter, is she more popular? Also (and maybe its just me) but I kind of wanted to know what Sean was really about considering he asked the both of the girls to prom when Kate refused to go with him. I think the character development on both ends could help clear up a lot of questions.

Response to Aimee Bender's "Off"

        In this story Aimee Bender gives us a character who  is full of herself but hilarious. She's the newly rich girl who thinks/knows she's "all that." She devises a plan to kiss three boys in one night, all with different hair colors representing the three flavors, strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate (a redhead, a blond, and black/dark haired fellow).

        Her conflicts arise when her plans to kiss the guys don't exactly go the way she intended and she finds herself reverting back to old tactics. I love the way Bender paints her as the individual who pays close attention to detail and people (especially men). We learn that she's rich because of an inheritance which would suggest that maybe there was once a point when she was mid-to lower class, which makes the conversation between her and the redhead all the more interesting. She's the "odd man out" at the party clearly and the only reason she's there is because the host "feels sorry for her" and possibly because she's rich now. I feel like that's why she's so observant. She watches each guy she intends to kiss and sums up their personalities quick along with the people they're conversing with in order to learn how to interrupt their conversation. I think the fact that she was once a painter makes it all the more interesting because we tend to think that artist pay close attention to detail. They see the color where most people see the black and white and i think that's what Bender's character does in this story. I loved the open thought process of the character/narrator. I felt like I was at the party seeing all of the things she was seeing while also even beginning to think like her. 

       I think the title of this story is fun and almost describes the narrator in a way. I feel like in all of her confidence she is a bit "off." I feel that it's good to be confident but here it seems she longs for attention. For example, even naming her dog "Off" seemed like it was done like she explained to "fuck with people's heads." I loved the descriptions and the little witty sayings thrown into the story. I felt they made the story funny and more personal.

Response to T.C. Boyle's "The Love of My Life"

      In this short story T.C. Boyle shows the triumphs and trials of a teenage relationship. The two main characters are constantly deeming what they feel is real love or what love is in general. But when conflict arises (such as teen pregnancy) the characters don't share that love they once shared.

       I like how the characters were taken completely out of their element here and placed in this situation. Pregnancy is pretty serious especially for a teenager, not to mention one who has just gone off to college. I found it interesting that the two main characters, China and Jeremy, were described as these two people who hated "over-breeders"  and how getting pregnant is the worst thing that could ever happen to someone there age. For China to actually end up pregnant was a bit of a shock because as the reader you think she'd be that last person on earth to let that happen to her.

       I found it interesting how Boyle decided to take the story in the direction he chose by allowing the characters to throw the baby in the dumpster, almost as some sort of love test towards Jeremy. I have to think that he must have really loved China in order to get rid of the baby for her and not at least think of something else they could do. Here we see true love being torn apart because everything else after that goes down hill for the two of them. I liked how Boyle captured China's thought of real love also through the initial scene with her thoughts of what sex is supposed to be, when in reality they shouldn't be having it at all and that's not the definition of real love. This story also captures the whole "it only takes one time" saying and how one mistake can change your life. Its the stereotypical story of the teen pregnancy and it works. But rather than the usual pregnancy pushing the two father apart, its the smaller conflicts within the big picture that cause China and Jeremy to become more distant. I guess you could say its a conventional story presented in the non-conventional way and it works.

Response to "Vacation from Boyhood"

       This story is about two boys who set out on a trip to exhibit their manhood while also reviving the old times they used to spend together growing up. The trip seems to go as planned with a few mishaps here or there, like not realizing wood might possibly have to be chopped in order to stay warm. But all in all until the end their mishaps are typical and almost expected. The major problem in the story doesn't occur until the end and the audience is left with the knowledge of the two boys accidentally burning down the cabin.

        I loved how close the narrator and his friend were and how it seemed like nothing would ever stop them from being that way. Clearly they're in college now, yet still they're as good of friends as they once were when they were little. I loved the dialogue between the boys; it felt real and conversational, especially the little instances where mumbling occurs. I also thought that the idea of rediscovering their lost "boyhood" was affective because we're not just given a story about two boys who go on a trip and something happens, in other words, it makes the story more personal because we can see and essentially feel the connection to the narrators friend.  It's as if he's supposed to be our friend as well because the description of the old days and his time spent with the narrator was well cherished even if they weren't necessary "best friends." They were close enough to want to make this trip together. I also liked how college was the reason they felt they had something to prove to one another. It was easy to relate to especially concerning the Facebook references.

         There were some instances where I felt a bit overwhelmed for instance, in the beginning the reader has a lot to take in before we actually get to the trip. I felt that some of the detail concerning the boys background together could've been condensed a bit. I enjoyed the detail in sometimes but other times I felt it was a bit unnecessary-almost too much which could take away from the story. The beginning starts off slow but then the rest of the story seems to move rather quickly. I'd like to see some more imagery especially with the cabin and what happened chopping the wood and maybe some more details of what happened when Connor didn't know what a flu was and forgot to open it, and the area in general maybe but otherwise I enjoyed reading this story.

Respone to The Day Beverly Lost Jessica

       The Day Beverly Lost Jessica is about Beverly  and her twelve year old daughter Jessica's aspiration to become a famous pop-star. Jessica has an audition with "WORLD WIDE MUSIC" in which Beverly is hesitant from the start because she thinks Jessica doesn't realizes whats shes getting herself into. The story becomes chaoitic as we see Beverly's fears surface while also seeing the happy emotions Jessica is feeling due to the company wanting to make her a star. The further the story goes on, the more Beverly essentially loses Jessica until the end when a brawl breaks out in the waiting room and it is suggested that Jessica join it to I'm assuming fit the image.

      I enjoyed how the story began with the description of Beverly and Jessica walking up to the "World Wide Music" building and the image it presented, with the bird's nest and the "O" being repainted. The narrator allows you to feel the same way about the building and its uneasy-ness. There's a sense that this company can't be all its thought to be if the outside looks this way, not to mention Beverly's reaction to it all. I thought the waiting room atmosphere was described nicely and it reminded me of the various casting calls I went on with my brother back in the day. They all seem to be the same wherever you go.The descriptions of the internet sensations along with the overlap of worried thoughts from Beverly and excited thoughts from Jessica was done quite well. I also thought it was interesting that the songs Jessica seemed to be singing or hearing while messing around in the studio seemed to foreshadow what was really going on.

    But there were times when I couldn't really tell who was talking and felt a little lost as to what was really going on. I thought maybe the part where all of the confusion occurs could be a bit more clear or perhaps the narrator could give little hints that would allow the audience to know who's talking or what's happening. I didn't really know if Jessica was playing music or if someone was in the booth singing/recording. Other than that I thought the story was really good and loved the idea of the "12-year old who grows up to fast because 13 is right around the corner and she thinks she all of the sudden grown," because everyone knows you're grown once you're a teenager.

The things heard on the transit-Dialogue exercies

"Hey you know there was a fight that broke out?"

"Doesn't surprise me."

"Man I didn't even see you walk on."

"Saban do anything lately?"

"Nah, dude that's such a good idea...that'd be awesome!...I did that, I couldn't take summer classes."

"I mean you could do that, just take a few like 17."

"Yea 17 keeps me on edge anyway...got any updates today for the crew?"

"Yea Cecilia..."

Response to Richard Bausch's "1-900"

The narrator that Bausch creates here in this story is quite unclear but i think that's what works within the story. He seems disconnected from the rest of us but of course he would be considering he's called a phone sex line wanting to just "talk." I like how hes completely oblivious to the sole purpose of the hotline he's just called. Bausch makes him appear almost disillusioned with life, but we later learn he has a bit of a reason to be. His wife has left him, he's been thrown down the stairs by his brother-in-law, and his sister will never win "best sibling" award anytime soon. It seems that all he has is "Marilyn."

       Its really interesting how the audience is presented with this middle-aged, college educated man who, one would normally think wouldn't call a hotline such as this. His name is as plain as Jane yet this girl, Marilyn(or Sharon which is found out later) finds him interesting enough to converse with him for the entire story before finally hanging up. The audience is drawn in automatically because we feel sorry for John. We automatically think "Why does this seemingly normal man calling a phonesex hotline?" Not that we assume the stereotypical father who doesn't do anything wrong and is perfect and lacking skeletons, but we're drawn into his feelings of selflessness. Its as if he thinks of himself as pathetic and we can sympathize with him.

      Another way that Bausch draws the audience is by actually having the girl on the phone talk back with him. By learning about Sharon through John's eyes helps us understand him better. We understand the things she does that annoy him, and the things he likes and dislikes about the conversation. These things reveal the likes and dislikes during his own marriage. When Sharon attempts to understand him, the audience does also. The more and more Sharon opens up the more he opens up and the more the audience feels compelled to feel sorry for him and pity him. We want the relationship between the two of them to end well and we hope that Sharon can someone find it in her to comply with him. Yet at the same time we know that this whole conversation could just be an outlet...for both of them. One has to remember that Sharon has never been spoken to in this manner and there's reason to believe deep down she's enjoying it-revealing why she stays on the phone as long as she does.

Response to Denis Johnson's "Emergency"

        Throughout Emergency Johnson intertwines a dream-like state with the real-life happenings that occur at an everyday job. It's interesting how he seems to draw on the comical aspects that of a job in the ER but relates them to the audience within this "drug trip." Having experience working in the ER I found the descriptions and attitudes of the Nurse and the doctor quite amusing and for the most part accurate with some exaggeration here and there, but not much. 

          Johnson makes the two main characters seem like the ultimate drug addicts especially Georgie who, after mopping the floor clean still thinks its still covered in blood, which makes for an interesting parallel considering they work in a Catholic hospital. One tends to assume that Catholic hospitals or anything of religious backgrounds are the utmost righteous.Clearly that is not the case here. This hospital doesn't seem like the normal hospital from the start when we're introduced to a man who has a knife through one eye, all the while the untouched eye is glass yet he claims he can still see. The knife is in his eye because his wife caught him "eying" their neighbor which provides some satire as to the reason she wanted to blind him completely. Not to mention one wonders if the hospital is Catholic, does that mean the neighborhood is as well, and if so do Catholic neighborhoods have "eye-stabbing wives?" One asks because Terrence, made a comment about only living three blocks away which is why he was able to walk there. The doctor is hated, but don't we expect that? We assume he is arrogant and only thinks in terms of himself. He use terms such as "eye man" "gas man" that would suggest he really doesn't care who they are or what it is they really do but he knows he needs them because he's way out of his league when it comes to removing hunting knives from the head.

            Interestingly enough, Johnson has the ability to make a drug trip seem more like real life than just being high. In other words he makes it appear as though all of the things the narrator and Georgie experienced could happen to anyone without being high or on drugs. The first part of the story is similar to that of a late night at an ER, meaning its spontaneous and unknowing. The ER has a haunted, mysterious feel to it, and its full of unexpectedness and surprise which is how Johnson relays the beginning of the story. The audience is a bit unclear as to what's going on until the understanding is made that both characters are high. The trip to the fair is where things seems to get ironic because Georgie and the narrator use the fair as a getaway from their hectic lives, when in reality they're already "gone" so-to-speak. This drug trip is almost understandable. Picking up the narrators AWOL friend Hardee is just another plus. It seems everyone and everything along with Georgie's truck that fails to have working headlights. It seems the truck matches its owner.

Draw What You See, Not What You Hear

"Write a short short (500 words maximum) in which the TV plays a role. Let the words/images on the screen interact with or reflect on the situation in the story. Your characters can be watching TV or it can be background noise."

        

Response to Lydia Davis's "Television"

It seems that Davis is trying to show how t.v. has become such a big part of our daily lives and how we long for that connection with its shows and characters. It is so much apart of us that she describes "If dead people walked outside our windows we would be no more excited." This includes the news, game-shows, and regular day-time cop shows. We like to feel as if, what's happening in the world of television relates to us. Her use of imagery allows us to visualize and relate to, even if we aren't married yet, the husband who is glued to the television because of the beautiful female news anchor, or even the game show host that mother likes; we see that.

            She sections off her story in three parts which I think adds emphasis to each point she is trying to convey. In other words, the first section seems to focus on the effect the television has on us in general as a person, a family, etc. The second and third sections appear to almost chronicle her own personal television experience. Her sentences are short and to the point. They grab the readers attention and they work well with this topic. The sentences, paragraphs, and sections all appear to almost mock that of a television show or t.v. movie; they skip details, they're easy to understand, and they don't last long. Davis describes this by mentioning toward the end of her day she wants to watch a movie that will "skip over all the complications, knowing we will understand, so that major events will happen abruptly..."

          Davis shows how television is used to pass or waste time. She says "All this was compressed into the very end of a day in my life that, as the evening advanced had already moved away from me..." Within a television show or movie, which last for about an hour, maybe an hour and twenty minutes, so much has happened to the characters and within their lives, yet for the audience watching the show, nothing has happened. I think Davis is trying to show that by the time we've decided to spend the rest of the day or night watching television, the day has left us and we transform or pretend to be the so desired personalities that we see. We want what we see and we fall in love with and look forward to these people, whether they are game-show host or the weatherman. There is something in television that comforts us and I think Davis conveys this very well with her short sentences, descriptive language, and imagery.

Yes, I'm serious.

Oh snap. My first blog post, and it is truly epic. Yes, I'm serious ladies and gentlemen, I now have a blog and it only took me until my junior year in college to get one. EPIC WINNING.